The narcissist mirrors and copies the other persons good qualities (which are initially admired and then envied) and later on projects his/her own real or perceived flaws into the other person. It's a kind of personality swap. (For more information see Sam Vaknin's video on the devalue page: Narcissist's projection Quote: "Forcing someone to become someone else")
When the other person is able to say internally to themselves "No, actually that IS you" and "I'm going to be ME now" and they live it, then the narcissist's narrative ("I'm not flawed-you are!") stops working for them.
It upsets the narcissist if they are trying to cast you in the role of a defective person or if they are trying to hurt you and you're genuinely happy instead. "The best revenge is to live well"
Assc Direct - How Does the Narcissist Feel Once You've Moved on
Elton John - I'm still standing
Lyrics: "You'll wind up like the wreck you hide, behind that mask you use"
The lyrics allude to using the discard as a method of emotional abuse:"Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again
The threats you made were meant to cut me down
and If our love was just a circus you’d be a clown by now"
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