It's good to see the idealization phase of narcissistic abuse being presented to the younger generation and starting to enter common knowledge.
Fairytales of an amazing and great prince charming coming into a girls life and sweeping her off her feet in record time, are actually dangerous, because this is what the narcissist does during the idealization phase.
Frozen-Love is an open door
"Our mental synchronisation can have but one explanation" yes ! mirroring
The narcissist knows what to say and when to say it. A normal person is unsuspecting, because it's hard to see a motive as to why a person would go to all this trouble to be so false.
It's all done for the narcissistic supply, which is all important to the narcissist.
A narcissist watches a target very closely and then tailors and adapts his lies and deceptions according to the targets reactions to them. That is how they are so effective. The narcissists well developed ability to see the vulnerabilities of a target is called "cold empathy".
A narcissist comes across as very serious and sincere during this phase and not at all as if he were playing games. This is because a narcissist is very serious and sincere - just not about the other person. A narcissist is very serious and sincere about obtaining his narcissistic supply !
It's all done for the narcissistic supply, which is all important to the narcissist.
A narcissist watches a target very closely and then tailors and adapts his lies and deceptions according to the targets reactions to them. That is how they are so effective. The narcissists well developed ability to see the vulnerabilities of a target is called "cold empathy".
A narcissist comes across as very serious and sincere during this phase and not at all as if he were playing games. This is because a narcissist is very serious and sincere - just not about the other person. A narcissist is very serious and sincere about obtaining his narcissistic supply !
The following elements of the idealization phase are recognisable in this song:
- the pity ploy - the mirroring - identifying of the victims vulnerabilities/traumas and taking advantage of them - the victims loneliness - the soul mate trick - the emotional high - the incredible speed of the "relationship" - using a persons love against them for personal benefit (to get them to "open the door"/exploitation)
- overlooking something that somehow seems slightly "off", but you can't quite put your finger on it, because it is plausibly deniable
(@ 0.50 "I've been searching my whole life to find my own place" He was of course speaking figuratively and meant "a place in life" - right ? Or was this a glimpse of his true intentions, that he is literally after her castle ?! Later, while she is singing "I see your face" He is singing "I see my place")
- the pity ploy - the mirroring - identifying of the victims vulnerabilities/traumas and taking advantage of them - the victims loneliness - the soul mate trick - the emotional high - the incredible speed of the "relationship" - using a persons love against them for personal benefit (to get them to "open the door"/exploitation)
- overlooking something that somehow seems slightly "off", but you can't quite put your finger on it, because it is plausibly deniable
(@ 0.50 "I've been searching my whole life to find my own place" He was of course speaking figuratively and meant "a place in life" - right ? Or was this a glimpse of his true intentions, that he is literally after her castle ?! Later, while she is singing "I see your face" He is singing "I see my place")
- The narcissist is after benefits. A narcissist does not love with his heart, but with his ego. This means, he doesn't love a person for the way they are. A narcissist doesn't know how to love. A narcissist is interested in a person for what they can do for him, how they can benefit him and above all else, for the narcissistic supply the person can give him.
- what's missing in this song, is that the narcissist is after narcissistic supply
- what's missing in this song, is that the narcissist is after narcissistic supply
A narcissists primary aim is narcissistic supply and taking control of the victims feelings.
The benefits he can get, are secondary gains.
In the song, he is telling her what she wants to hear. He mirrors her, they appear to be very similar in their interests, views and past experiences. He seems to be her soul mate. He finds out what she wants and what she is looking for and turns himself into that person. He gains sympathy and trust from her with his pity ploy about his brothers, where he is mirroring her own problems with her sister.
She is thrilled with him, because he is giving her everything she was missing earlier and was longing for. He is soothing her inner pain and loneliness and is delivering a custom-made emotional high for her, especially tailored to her specific emotional needs.
It is a first class catering service.
Not only because of the positive narcissistic supply, but also because of the power and control the narcissist gains over the victims feelings, which is the beginning of the victims emotional addiction to the narcissist. If the narcissist gains direct control over the victims feelings, then the narcissist gains power and control over the source of narcissistic supply, which is what the narcissists is hopelessly addicted to and cannot do without.
The narcissist is very seriously addicted to narcissistic supply and cannot do with out it.
S/he will do what ever it takes to get the narcissistic supply. Like any other addict with their substance. The only difference is, that in the case of the narcissist, the thing s/he is addicted to is invisible.
The victim loves the narcissist and the narcissist loves the way the victim love him - or more accurately: his grandiose false self.
